Earlier this year, Curtis and I
came face to face with the fact that we live in a broken world. Yes, I know.
It’s obvious. Some may say, “Monique, you just
now realized that?” Of course I’ve known the world is broken, and we've
witnessed its fractured state over the years. But in April of this year, that
reality really hit home. We lost our first baby
to miscarriage and unfortunately, we quickly learned how terribly common that
type of loss is.
I wondered why pain has to reach
deep into the hearts of all of humanity. It touches the strong and the weak, the great and the small. Yes, even those who lay down their life to
serve Jesus. It's no respecter of persons; and yet when it comes to your door it feels so unfair.
Although we were devastated, we
carried on in ministry, broken. Curtis remained strong, leaning on the Rock of
our Salvation. But I can’t say the same for myself. I spiraled into crisis-of-faith mode
and questions of “Why?” flooded my mind.
While we journeyed down the road to
healing, the Lord slowly revealed His presence in the loneliest moments—the
moments in which one is tempted to believe He has forgotten. And just as
faithful as always, He revealed a healing truth:
“You [God] keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” – Psalm 56:8
This passage is
based on an ancient Roman custom. A friend would go to one in sorrow and wipe
away the tears from their eyes with a piece of cloth. Then they would squeeze
the tears into a small bottle of glass or earth, called lachrymatory, which
was carefully preserved as a memorial of friendship and sorrow. (source: Barnes Notes on the Bible)
The Father of compassion and God of all comfort does not
forget us.
Because of this loss our senses have been heightened to the pain of those around us. Now
when I see it, I wish to run towards the hurting and tell them about the One
who knows, the One who remembers, the One who collects the tears—the One who
heals.
This truth comes rushing forward
on days like Saturday, when we received a voicemail that my young cousin was
shot in the face due to [what seems to be] gang related violence. I quickly called my dad. The
words hurried out of my mouth, “Is he alive?” Miraculously, he is alive, and
even more miraculously, none of the contents of the shot gun cartridge
penetrated through his skull.
He was shot in the eyes and had
emergency surgery while my family prayed in the waiting room. We're not sure what will become of his sight. We are still holding on to hope and praying for a miracle. The potential loss of one's ability to see can be devastating. Yet, Saturday could have looked so
differently. I praise God for sparing us from losing another life, and allowing
this one to live on.
My family stood by as another family was told that their loved one didn’t make it. Two were killed of gun shot wounds the same day. No, it’s
not fair. The system is broken—destroyed; made into pieces from a whole—and yes, it does reach into the hearts of all of humanity.
A custom necklace by Lisa Leonard Designs. Includes "Haven" and "Ps. 56:8" A daily reminder of hope, eternity & the heart of our God. |
In these real-life moments, when the rose-colored glasses are removed, revealing the true state of this fallen earth, we praise God that this is not all
there is. There is hope for more… a Living Hope, in fact.
After learning that “the godly often die before their time… [and] no one seems to understand that God is protecting them from evil to come” (Isaiah 57:1) we realized that our child was spared from the sorrows of this world. We named our baby Haven, which means “a place of safety, sanctuary; shelter” [a unisex name since we did not know the sex of the baby]. It’s a name that reminds us of Heaven, where some day we will be reunited in the perfect joy and uninterrupted peace that God ultimately desires for all of us.
After learning that “the godly often die before their time… [and] no one seems to understand that God is protecting them from evil to come” (Isaiah 57:1) we realized that our child was spared from the sorrows of this world. We named our baby Haven, which means “a place of safety, sanctuary; shelter” [a unisex name since we did not know the sex of the baby]. It’s a name that reminds us of Heaven, where some day we will be reunited in the perfect joy and uninterrupted peace that God ultimately desires for all of us.
God has been using little Haven
to teach us so much, and this is deepening our understanding of the beauty of our
Lord and His incredible plan of redemption. Even this tiny little life, that never knew the world, had a significant
purpose to show mommy and daddy the hope of eternity.
We have entered into the sacred
dance of joy and sorrow, the marriage of loss and hope, and we praise the
Savior for holding our hand through it all.
“I have learned to kiss the wave
that throws me against the Rock of Ages” – C.H. Spurgeon
Here's to kissing the wave,
-Monique and Curtis Zackery
(As always, we thank you for your support and prayer in the ministry God has called us to. Please let us know how we can be praying for you too. Lots of love coming your way!- The Zackery's)
This post is absolutely beautiful, in every way. Thank you for sharing it, and thank God for the grace, courage and peace He's giving you and Curtis. Love you guys very much!
ReplyDeleteThank you, E.J. We love you guys too!
DeleteWow. Thanks so much for sharing this Monique. I am too am dealing with an overwhelming sense of sorrow and loss and this was extremely helpful. Thanks for being so transparent. I also really like the name Haven.
ReplyDeleteOh, Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I am praying for our Jesus to bring you comfort in this time, as only He can. Feel free to call or email if you ever want to talk. (monique.zackery@yahoo.com) We love you.
DeleteThank you for your honest and personal look into what God is doing in your lives. Anitra and I can sympathize deeply with you and Curtis. Loved having you guys with us in Orlando. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteJesse
Thank you for your encouragement, Jesse. We are so thankful for our friendship with you and Anitra. Our time with you guys in Florida was such a blessing.
DeleteHey Monique, Thanks for your transparency in these reflections. This post really encouraged me...real brokenness and real hope. We will continue to pray for David!
ReplyDeleteThank you Dave. We appreciate your support.
Delete